I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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