I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize