I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
