I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
