i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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