Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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