dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
