Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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