I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
