i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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