Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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