it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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