I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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