is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent