I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.