i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.