yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago