I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
