I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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