"it" just moved
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
