Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
