yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
