Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
