Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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