He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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