I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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