i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize