I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize