I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
