I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
