The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
