david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
