but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
