Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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