The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont even know how to be here
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
