she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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