so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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