I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
