Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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