i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
