We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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