I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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