So drunk, too bad you don't want this
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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