I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
