Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
