That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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