gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
