He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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