I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
