I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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