stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize