Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
