Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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