it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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