who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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