i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
