i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
